ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize