she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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