i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
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