Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
