pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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