i will never coherently bang her
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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