No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
