You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
