Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
not ubering you a puppy
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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