i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
