playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
