I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
