its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
