I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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