It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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