I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize