Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
