Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
