It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
