Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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