just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
