Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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