he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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