So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
