Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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