we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
A bitchslap is in order.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
