Non-Jews are for practice
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
