is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
