I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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