Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
