Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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