Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
