I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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