she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
you never un-have a 4some
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
