he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
