I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
