1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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