Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
