Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
why do cheetos always look like penises
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
