I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
