I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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