The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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