My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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