i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And my parents said I crawled through the house
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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