The maid of honor just puked.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
