Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
