You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
