i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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