Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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