that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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