I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
