he thought i was a dude.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
