loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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