yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
