So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
