so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
