hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We had to coat check the pizza.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Randomize
