yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
