Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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