"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
