i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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