somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
