watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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