shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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