sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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