Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
