weddingsv make me drug and hornr
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
