Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
