Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
