But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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