But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
