I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
