whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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