so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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