...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize