I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
