An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
