the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it's not cheating when I paid for it
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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