Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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