Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
