Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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