ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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