i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
