i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
