Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
