Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
