Heybabeimwearingurpanties
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
