laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
