to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is it penis luge time yet?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
