you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
