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I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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