The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
