I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
