oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
