Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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