called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
